Annoyed, frustrated and drained – I was trying to make sense of things that had occurred. More I recollect, the more I regret. How easy it would have been to laugh about it. Sadly one couldn’t at such moments.
It all started with a call in a cold winter morning. Being not sure whether it was call or my alarm ringing I click the mobile to hear my husband utter, “Lift wasn’t working. I used poorly maintained stairs to reach car park. If lift doesn’t work later, don’t send Zakir to school.” All I could register was – Yipee! I can sleep more. Forsaking warm bed on a cold morning is tough. Waking up my kindergartener Zakir was tougher. And not waking up my toddler Shakir – TOUGHEST. I quickly said, “Why should I get poor Zakir ready when the lift is most likely not to work. Let him sleep, a day’s absence will not make any difference.”
Alas, the pleasant conversation woke my little explorer, Shakir. I tried desperately to get him back into bed but his enthusiasm surpassed my determination. The brave adventurer ensured that he had his loyal crew too. Yes you guessed it right, my kindergartener Zakir followed him to the living room. Habitually, few minutes later, my feet dragged me too – when I heard few screeches and squeals. As I made my morning elixir, coffee- it dawned on me that Zakir had to perform in his school. AH! How could I have forgotten? Besides, It would be much easier for me to get my chores done with Zakir at Kindergarten. I was able to hear the lift work. It was too late to catch school bus. I decided to take a cab to zakir’s school located at out skirts of the city.
This meant I had to do the following:
- Get Zakir into his uniform.
- Get Zakir’s snack box + bag packed.
- Get Shakir ready – diaper change + warm clothes + shoes.
- Get Shakir’s feeding bottles + snacks for the trip.
- Check if money and enough change was there in my hand bag. (kids tend to play with my bags)
- Get me into warm Abhaya.
- Take baby carry bag – for my ease.
It took me little more time than I anticipated. Hurray it was all done. In a jiffy we were down trying to catch a cab. The driver was new to city and knew only one route which screamed out TRAFFIC. A cycle would have driven faster. To kill time the driver wanted to know more about his passengers – my family. ‘Did he miss bus? Do you generally take this route? Do u know Arabic? Blah blah..’ My silence wouldn’t make him silent. My free spirited Shakir wanted to crawl out. He revolted by throwing his snacks. I was struggling to remain calm. I was convincing my self – dropping my son was worth all the pain. Suddenly I hear my elder son Zakir ask, “MAMA, WHERE IS MY SCHOOL BAG?”
Yes. I had missed it. I was carrying the baby and handbag. I had assumed my 5 year old would carry it. He was meant to carry it. Even as I asked him why he didn’t carry it, I knew I had to check. I heard the cab driver grin. I wanted to scream, instead I kindly requested the driver to turn back. The rush hour had ensured a high taxi fare. This money and time could have been better spent. Slow driving had made my sons sleepy. As they slept in the cozy bed at home – my regret kept me awake. I had ensured we were dressed right; had enough money; still things didn’t work as I had planned. Should have taken the bag; should have checked if cab driver knew better route – at least it would have cost less; should have sent him by bus as usual. I couldn’t blame anyone but me. My son had lost his moment of glory for which he had prepared so well. I felt hurt as the trip was taken in vain. I wanted to mark it as day of regret on calendar.
This made me wonder what am I doing for the real day of regrets?! We are all travelers in this short life. Our desired destination is high rank in heaven. Every choice we make is a step towards or away from it. Sadly, we forget all about it and our choices are limited to our whims and fancies. We are sent here to earn for hereafter. Just like a cozy bed, dazzling world becomes our beloved choice. We make several wrong choices and waste countless hours and wealth on our entertainment. Even when we strive, it’s merely to fill our pocket or for pride. Of course, we plan for our future. We have allotted college and marriage funds for our kids; insured our health, wealth and life; earned enough to keep our spouses and kids happy. Unfortunately, we overlook His commands for this. Now will there be a better hereafter? Ironically, we are very satisfied with such life. Finally when we meet Him what will happen to us? Let’s hear from HIM.
Say, [O Muhammad – Peace be upon him], “Shall we [believers] inform you of the greatest losers as to [their] deeds? [They are] those whose effort is lost in worldly life, while they think that they are doing well in work.” Those are the ones who disbelieve in the verses of their Lord and in [their] meeting Him, so their deeds have become worthless; and We will not assign to them on the Day of Resurrection any importance. Quran [chapter 18; verses 103-105]
I hope we don’t forget the purpose of the life – to please HIM. Let’s start early to catch the bus to heaven. Let us make right choices and remain patient and firm on the right path. Most of all – let us stick to Tawheed – Belief in ONE HIM. Without which our trip of life would be an entire waste.
Let us be prepared for the day of regrets – the Day of Resurrection, which we have been warned about.
Check your priorities. Are you really having purposeful life? Let us strive to be amidst reassured ones to enter paradise.