THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH

World and all that it posses cannot ransom us from hell

World and all that it posses cannot ransom us from hell
THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَـٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ

What comes to your mind when you think of bliss? Cozy Home? Company of your loved ones? Yes, I can almost see you smile as you think about your beloved parents, spouse, children, and friends. Who is the apple of your eye? What wouldn’t you do to see him/her happy? I know, the whole world means nothing to us when it comes to our beloved.

For most of us, the most loving person is our mother; the person who deserves most respect is our father; the people whom we stand by are our siblings; the greatest people on earth are our like-minded friends; and, our children are most innocent beings! They are the apple of our eyes. They make our little world.  We do everything to add color to it. Of course, this doesn’t mean we are rude to others. We are on our best behavior to those around us. But all this could change!

A few months back, when I and my darling seven-year-old son were attempting to memorize verses from Quran, we came across the verses which made us realize the world could be insufficient! Every valuable thing would mean absolutely nothing to us! We wouldn’t be bothered about our dear ones when it comes to SAVING OURSELVES.

Are you wondering what am I speaking about? See for yourself what the verses from Surah Ma’arij (Chapter 70 – Quran) state:

يُبَصَّرُونَهُمْ ۚ يَوَدُّ الْمُجْرِمُ لَوْ يَفْتَدِي مِنْ عَذَابِ يَوْمِئِذٍ بِبَنِيهِ

وَصَاحِبَتِهِ وَأَخِيهِ

وَفَصِيلَتِهِ الَّتِي تُؤْوِيهِ

وَمَن فِي الْأَرْضِ جَمِيعًا ثُمَّ يُنجِيهِ

كَلَّا ۖ إِنَّهَا لَظَىٰ

They will be shown each other. The criminal will wish that he could be ransomed from the punishment of that Day by his children

And his wife and his brother

And his nearest kindred who shelter him

And whoever is on earth entirely [so] then it could save him.

No! Indeed, it is the Flame [of Hell],

(verses 11 to 15)

The punishment of the Day of Reckoning would be so unbearable that we will try saving ourselves at any cost. Even, if it meant exchanging our place for every being on the Earth! Strangely, here we are ready to commit a sin to please our dear ones or acquire little gain. Even if we are kings and queens ruling the entire world, our kingdom, our royal family and loyal subjects couldn’t save us from the consequences of our sins! What kind of richness are we longing for?

My son was visibly surprised and worried to read the verses. He wondered who will face such a fate. The next few verses portrayed a picture of a disobedient hoarder of wealth. The one who is impatient during adversity and selfish when he is blessed with wealth.

Now like me and you, my son questioned – how can we save ourselves? I read ahead to learn that those who pray (establish prayer) will be safe. Verses that follow explain in detail what such people do:

  • Those who are constant in their prayer (Verse 23)
  • And those within whose wealth is a known right For the petitioner (one who asks/begs) and the deprived (Verses 24 and 25)
  • And those who believe in the Day of Recompense (Verse 26)
  • And those who are fearful of the punishment of their Lord (Verse 27)
  • And those who guard their chastity. (Verse 29)
  • And those who are to their trusts and promises attentive (Verse 32)
  • And those who are in their testimonies upright (Verse 33)
  • And those who [carefully] maintain their prayer (Verse 34)
  • They will be in gardens, honored. (Verse 35)

My son desires to be like the people mentioned above. May Allah make us amidst Musaleen (Those who establish prayer) – Ameen.

I have read this surah and its meaning earlier too.  But when I read it with an intention to memorize it, it shook me from within. How carelessly had I scanned through this chapter without pondering upon the weight of the events mentioned in it! At the same time, I couldn’t stop admiring the sequence of the verses – how each verse led to another; how the chapter warned us and showed us a way to escape from Hell. Subahan Allah (Exalted be Allah)

How wretched will be the state of the person who hasn’t bothered to open and understand Quran? May Allah make it easy for us to learn and understand Quran. May we give Quran its due right by practicing what we learn. May we and our loved ones be amidst those in Jannah (paradise). Ameen.

I have not explained the entire chapter here. I have just included the verses which I partly explained my son. Nothing is holding you back from reading the Tafsir (explanation) of this chapter. Go Ahead. Perhaps, you can enlighten us with what you learn.

In the month of Ramadan as I was reading through Quran, this verse from Surah Rad reminded me Surah Ma’arij again:

For those who have responded to their Lord is the best [reward], but those who did not respond to Him – IF THEY HAD ALL THAT IS IN THE EARTH ENTIRELY AND THE LIKE OF IT WITH IT, THEY WOULD [attempt to] RANSOM THEMSELVES THEREBY. Those will have the worst account, and their refuge is Hell, and wretched is the resting place. (Chapter 13; Verse 18)

Even if we have one more world just like this one in our possession, IT CANNOT SAVE US FROM THE HELL FIRE! What good are the wealth and the comfort if we fail to recognize ourselves as His slaves? Is it really worth disobeying Lord for some useless material gain?

Be aware,

We cannot reserve a spot in Heaven in exchange for this world.

Prepublished in MUSLIMAHBLOGGERS

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Just Another Ramadan

dates

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ

Ramadan is back here. Has a year flown away so soon? We haven’t really retrieved from the excitement of last Eid and Ramadan has knocked our doors again. We have ensured we have done our best to welcome this month. Our Homes are shining; Our freezers are full of frozen snacks to fry; We have even purchased our Eid clothes. Insha Allah, our time will be well spent in Ibada. Our Dua(invocation) books are out and we are determined to spend most of our time with Quran; we will try our best to read Quran at least once. After all, this has been our standard procedure all our life. Great! We are at bliss. Are we? Now let us see our Ramadan routine in a new light.

ARE OUR HOMES WELCOMING?

Are our homes welcoming enough for the angels? Of course, the house has been dusted and arranged. Check again, is there anything in the house which would keep angels away? Why wouldn’t angels of mercy enter our home, when we have ensured that our home even smells great?!! WELL, ARE OUR WALLS FREE OF FAMILY PHOTOS?

angels do not enter a home with pictures

Is a photo in your living room meant to honor a predecessor? Or, do you proudly display the photo of your child receiving a trophy? Indeed, the elders need to be honored and the youngster’s achievement is worth being applauded. But, we don’t need a framed photo to prove our love for them. Our love for Allah is much stronger and with all the devils locked it should be much easier to obey Him. Let us remove the photos and ensure that our home is welcoming enough for the angels.

SERVE IT RIGHT

It’s the first day of Ramadan, and kids are already speaking of goodies they would get to eat in iftar. Most of us have loaded our freezer with partly cooked snacks. Moms are wondering whether to defrost kabab, samosas or spring rolls. We have taken all this pain to ensure that our family gets to eat tasty food while we don’t waste our valuable time in a kitchen. Well, have we also ensured that our deeds are being presented before Allah?! Are we in good terms with our extended family and friends? If you are in doubt, without delay connect to your loved ones. Please click here to read more about this.

Gates of paradise opened on Monday and Thursday
Hadith Wait until they reconcile

LET US MAKE THIS RAMADAN THE BEST RAMADAN!

We all love the month of Ramadan. We love the fasting, reciting Quran and standing in tarawih salah. How we wish that we can feel this closeness to Allah all our life. Yet, after Ramadan, we slowly slip back being our usual self. Months of Ramadan come and go, with hardly any impact on our life. Why aren’t we able to hold on to something from our experience in Ramadan? How did you feel, when you first fasted for an entire month? Alhamdulillah. How did you feel on completing the recitation of the Quran for the first time? Are there any more memories which would make a Ramadan stand out? 

fasting for a year

LIVING THROUGH THE MONTH OF RAMADAN IS A HUGE BLESSING. Every Ramadan in our life counts. Perhaps, it’s time we push ourselves to do a little more. Look at Ramadan as an opportunity to change our life for better. It’s time to elevate our Rank in heaven.

To read the entire article please visit MUSLIMAHBLOGGERS

Are we slaves to the gadgets?

Assalamu alikum.

Alhamdhulillah, one of my articles has been republished in Aboutislam

image

.

http://aboutislam.net/reading-islam/living-islam/are-we-slaves-to-our-gadgets-instead-of-allah/

Do check to see, the changes. 🙂

The thieves in my life

Time loss

Dear friends, do you wake up with a zeal to achieve? Does a new day come as a promise for a fresh start to gear up your ambitious plans? Do you have a list of things you wish to accomplish in a day? I guess, you do. Do you always stick to your plan? By the end of the day, are you happy with what you have achieved? Sadly, I have to admit, by the end of the day I’m disappointed.

Well, our days start with fajr Salah (morning prayers) followed by usual routine of sending children to school, house hold chores and so on. In between, we get precious free time to pursue things which add a spark to life. These moments are valuable. That’s when I generally plan to do things I most love. I would love to write about what had been occupying my thoughts. Or, I try to listen to a lecture or explore about something which would interest me or my family. Most of the activities I wish to do involves my faithful laptop – a slave who obeys my command and takes me to sites with a press of a button key.

And then there is something else which interests me too. Before you start thinking of something awful, let me make it clear, I am speaking about NUMERICAL PUZZLES. Yep, complicated numerical puzzles which would result in wonderful loops and patterns once they are solved. As soon as I switch on the laptop, I feel the familiar urge to check the list of free Japanese puzzles. I spot an expert level puzzle and tell myself, “I could do it”. It almost smiles back as though challenging me! I have to solve it. I try it out. After several minutes/ hours of failed attempts, I succeed. Shouldn’t I be pleased that I won? Nah! I try to solve it faster! These puzzles might be improving my mathematical/logical skills. So, where am I using them? Can’t think of anything. Is such a knowledge necessary?

Working on a smart phone should be a better option. Alas, I have loaded several socializing apps like WhatsApp, Facebook and Instagram in it. I just can’t keep away from them. I decide to stay alone for a while. Then, I hear a familiar ring. I have to attend it. It could be important message (from a princess in distress ; -P)! I pick it up and plunge again into the world of internet. I see what are others concerned with. I wonder, why am I doing this? Yet, I am there scrolling through the pages. To escape this, I jump back to laptop and face the old temptation. This cycle is no better than a whirlpool sucking productive hours of my life.

Dear reader, how long can you stay away from gadgets? Do you see smart phones as an extension of yourself? Like me are you tempted to hold and fiddle with it? Is your hobby browsing? Do you too start somewhere and end in some other world of internet?  What kind of knowledge are we acquiring from countless hours of mindless browsing? Likewise, is there any benefit in merely hearing two different opinions on the same news subject, over and over again. I wonder, how people can allot several minutes/ hours every day for their favorite soap operas. Even if one watches a single episode weeks later, the plot can be guessed. These things which seem basically harmless, are robbing moments from our life. HAVE YOU TOO WILLINGLY BEFRIENDED SUCH A THIEF?

Pink flowers, Dua- seeking refuge from, useless knowledge, Heart fearless of Allah, unjustifiable soul and unanswered prayer.
Dua (invocation) for beneficial knowledge

There are better days, when I dedicate myself completely to work. I am interrupted by a familiar cry. It’s from my child demanding attention. To complete my task, the child should be distracted. Guess, what do I hand him? Yes, my laptop. I play some age appropriate video in it. Few minutes later, I see him watching something else. He is not supposed to watch that! What should I do? Ah! Educational Interactive games, that should keep him absorbed.

My job is done. But, now the little one prefers computer over me! I patiently wait for him to complete his game. But when I ask back for the laptop, He refuses. He wants to play more! Next day should be better? No, he demands for the computer every now and then. On refusing, my sweet child throws a tantrum. Does this happen in every home? Are our children’s holidays spent on play station? Are we able to restrict their screen time? With such astounding games, will the children pay attention to books? Will they find pleasure from a normal stroll? Are we in a way turning our children into game addicts? How do you think will such a child spend his/her free time in the future? Are we training them to have a purposeful life?

Dear readers, what is the ultimate purpose of life? Why have we been created?

QURAN 51:56 Surat Adh-Dhariyat [verse 56]
The purpose of Life
The world has always played a role from deluding us from the real purpose. The current era has a lot in store to keep us distracted. Now, we are literally wasting our life on games and entertainment.

Dice, Quran (6:32) Suah Al Anam verse 32 ;QURAN 29:64 Surat Al-'Ankabut [verse 64]
Life as a amusement
I am not against technology. We should be against technology enslaving us. Do we stick to our schedule and use technology for our necessity? Or, are we spending our nights past bedtime entertaining ourselves? Do we end up waking up halfhearted to offer fajr salah? Do we rush our prayers without concentration so that we can go back to gaming? Aren’t we intoxicated by games? Just like an addict we can’t recollect what we uttered in salah. Auzbillah. Will such a prayer be accepted? What will happen of us in the hereafter?

Dry flowers; QURAN (4:43), Suart An Nisa, verse 43
Pray with concentration

It’s time to acknowledge our weakness and get over it. WE NEED TO STOP TECHNOLOGY FROM STEALING TIME. We can do so much more when we are in control of our life. How can we take control?

1. RECOGNIZE YOUR WEAKNESS:

What kind of games/ programmes are you interested in? Why do you like it? I love puzzles. They gives me a sense of achievement.

2. FAITH:

Put your trust in Allah. Request sincerely to Allah to help you overcome the addiction.

3. REPLACE:

Other than computer/TV programmes, what else interests you? If you love news, read it from a newspaper. I love working on something challenging. Some intricate crafts work should help.

4. LEARN SOMETHING NEW:

We humans are born with an appetite to explore and learn. We feel more fulfilled on learning new things. We could learn a new language or craft. I decided to learn Crochet. (Do read my next post -It’s all about crochet.)

Apple, books, knowledge
Dua (invocation) for knowledge.

5. BELIEVE YOURSELF:

Maybe we were tempted back into browsing/gaming. Still, weren’t we able to keep ourselves away for a considerable amount of time? We can try again. Make a stronger resolution.

6. MOTIVATE:

Involve your family and friends. Ask them to participate with you in this TECHNO CLEANSING program. 

7. PLAN:

What do you plan to do between two salah (Prayers)? Stick to it.

Do something rewarding. I told my children, that I would crochet a jumper for them. Every time I was on computer, they would ask me to continue with their sweater! Seeing them wear what I made is rewarding.

You may also add a punishment. Well, if you go back to gaming, once the charge runs out, don’t charge the gadgets for next 10 hours!

8. REMEMBER: WE ARE ACCOUNTABLE FOR THE TIME WE SPEND HERE.

There would be more attractive games and sites. The era we live in is as ordained by Allah. We cannot afford to blame time and lead a heedless life.

Clock, Time
Do not abuse TIME

Insha Allah, with this we can prevent gadgets from stealing our time.

Dear readers, share with us your tips to prevent internet overtaking your life. Are there any other such thieves you have befriended? Let us know. Perhaps, we can discuss about them too.

Pre-published in Muslimahbloggers.

Click here for the list of other articles.

BIDDING FAREWELL TO RAMADAN

Tackling nafs (our desires)

This Ramadan, I had a special challenge. It was helping my son who is nearly 7 years old fast! He attempted to fast on 21st of Ramadan. Keeping him distracted during hunger was my biggest task. Phew. I had decided if he wouldn’t get distracted, he could break his fast. He enjoyed listening to stories, painting and playing with his younger brother. Then he had a good nap. But last few minutes were the toughest part of the fast for him. Seeing the food arranged on the table, he didn’t want to wait for his meal. Thankfully, he understood he didn’t have to wait for long. He kept looking at his pancakes. You should have seen his smile on hearing the Azan.  Alhamdhulillah.  Do you think I should have just let him eat five minutes before Magrib athan? No way.

We grownups, unconsciously, behave just like kids. Well, even before Ramadan ends we start planning for Eid. Eid is the times for the family get together. So, we start worrying about home decorations and accessories for the clothes.  Don’t we have to look perfect on the day of celebration? Hence, we fix appointment at the parlor and pamper ourselves from head to toe. (Even if it includes acts of disobeying Allah!) Are these our main concerns these days? Are the last days of this month meant to be spent away from Quran in markets and spas? Having disciplined ourselves this month, is this how we would like to end this month?!

How will we spend our Eid?
self check:

By now, most of us could have completed the recitation of Quran. Some of us could have completed listening to brief explanation of Quran. Few others could have managed to memorize a chapter of considerable length from Quran. Alhamdhulillah.  Now that we have achieved our goal, we don’t know what we should do? Throughout this month we had raised early to pray. We had also kept away from our favorite TV channels. Now that we are ‘free’, we are tempted to know, what has happened in our favorite soap operas? We wonder, to which Eid Movie release we should book our ticket! Though shayateen are still locked we are incited by evil of our NAFS (desires within us). And, these last days is when we feel it most. At this rate, we are more likely to WELCOME SHAITAN BACK WITH A BANG ON THE DAY OF EID. Remember,

Fight temptations of nafs(soul/self) and continue ibadah(worship)
last actions!

How we bid Farewell to Ramadan could make difference between deeds being accepted or on not! How could we tackle our Nafs? What could we do now? Here are some of the tips:

RECHECK YOUR RAMADAN PLAN

The problem with us is, we had set our goals wrong. We could have completed reciting, pondering over tafser and/or memorizing a portion of Quran. But, don’t forget, why are we doing this? Our ultimate aim is – TO PLEASE ALLAH; TO ADOPT TAQWA; TO BE FORGIVEN.

Did we recite Quran just to boast that, “we completed reciting Quran so soon!” Hasn’t it touched us spiritually? After having toiled so hard to spend time with Quran, should we take a ‘U’ turn now?

We can start reciting Quran afresh. We don’t have to complete it in Ramadan. Enjoy the recitation and ponder upon the verses. Give special attention when verse addresses believers (يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا). Ponder upon the beauty of the dua and the humble state of the prophet.

REMEMBER DEATH

Remember believing relatives and friends, who didn’t live to see this Ramadan. Can we be sure that we would live to see another Ramadan? If we still can’t overcome our temptations, how could we expect ourselves to utter “لا إله إلا الله ’ while facing whispers of Shaiteen at time of our death? Let us make most of this month while it lasts. Tonight, is 29thof Ramadan. That’s an odd night. May be, this is Lailatul Qadr. Probably this is the last night of this month. Don’t back up now, and give your best.  Make heart felt duas. Think of time of death and what follows it.

Study the state of soul after the death.
Seek refuge from being amidst wretched and hopeless.
And ask for every blessing that a believer’s soul is blessed with.

RECOLLECT YOUR PAST

Think about major incidents in your life.

Blessings: Praise and thank Allah for every blessing you could recollect. Pray for those who have been good to you.
Regrets: Ask forgiveness for every incident you errored. Pray that those whom we took for granted overlook our mistakes. Think of ways to win their heart and ask help from Him.
Afflictions: Request Allah to bless you with a heart which could forgive people who wronged you in ignorance. Don’t forget to say “إِنَّا لِلّهِ وَإِنَّـا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعونَ” when you remember a loss.

Umm Salamah (رضي الله عنها) reported: I heard the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) saying, "When a person suffers from a calamity and utters: إن لله وإنا إليه راجعون‏:‏ اللهم آجرني في مصيبتي، واخلف لي خيرا منها (We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return. O Allah! Compensate me in my affliction, recompense my loss and give me something better in exchange for it), then Allah surely compensates him with reward and better substitute."
Invocation at the time of distress/loss

REASSESS YOUR FUTURE

Unquestionably, what we would most miss about Ramadan is the closeness we feel to Allah. We should hold on to it. What deeds would you love to do even after Ramadan ends? Did helping needy please you? Our zakath is all paid but there are still many who need our help. There is no limit to Sadaqa. May be we can give a fixed amount every month in charity. We could recite small portion of quran every day. Is there anything you enjoyed doing in Ramadan? You can do it in rest of the year too!

With this renewed focus, we are most likely regret about the shortcomings in our fast. Yes, we could have done much more. Thankfully, Allah has blessed us with a solution – “ZAQATUL FITR”

Importance of Zakatul Fitr
Hadith about Zakatil Fitr

Ramadan would soon come to its end. But Our Allah’s mercy is still open; He loves to pardon. He would continue to descend to lowest heaven every night. Would we be there to answer His call?

Blue flowers
Seek Allah’s bounty with night prayers!

Are we indeed His blessed slaves (ABD- Allah)? Or, Are we just temporary slaves of Ramadan? Let us hold on to Taqwa by adopting few Ibada style changes. May Allah grant a good end to our affairs.

Aameen.

أَللّٰهُمَّ أَحْسِنْ عَاقِبَتَنَا فِىْ الْاُ مُوْرِ كُلِّهَا وَأَجِرْنَا مِنْ خِزْىِ الدُّنْيَا وَعَذَابِ الْاٰخِرَةِ
Good End!

Published in Muslimahbloggers.

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SERVING ‘AMAL’

Serving deeds. Good! go Ahead- Reconcile

Have you ever forgotten to serve the dish you cooked to your guests? Once, my host forgot to serve the soup they had cooked. They had used best ingredients and cooked it with lots of love. Yet, in the hustle, they had left the hot soup on a simmering pot! They remembered it only after we had eaten our dinner. No one wanted to taste the soup after a hefty dinner which included a rich dessert. We complimented the food and dinning arrangement. Yet, they were very disappointed for having not served the soup. The host kept repeating, “How could I have forgotten to serve the soup?” It was just one missed dish in a perfect dinner table! How will it be, that we learn in here after that our deeds won’t benefit us! How much would we regret?

Aren’t we excited to make the most of Ramadan? Have we done enough to meet Ramadan? Our houses are sparkling. Most of us would have stuffed our freezer and done Eid purchases to save time for Ibadah (Prayer). We have our zakath calculated. We also listened to motivating Islamic lectures. Oh! Our dua list is well preserved. Well, is this enough? Have you also sorted out children’s activities for Ramadan? Do you also have a Ramadan resolution? Barak Allahumma fih. :D. We might have missed a few things. Overall, we have PREPARED WELL. But, I am not speaking about this! Have you ensured that you would SERVE what you have PREPARED? Are we sure our good deeds would be presented before Allah? Are we too forgetting something important? What could keep our deeds left unchecked?

Gates of paradise opened on Monday and Thursday
Hadith -Wait until they reconcile

This hadith scares me. Is there any person whom you have been avoiding?  As per us, maybe such a person does not deserve our friendship/relationship. May be that person took us for granted. He or she could have abandoned us. So, why should we take the first step? I am afraid this hadith advices differently –

Continue reading SERVING ‘AMAL’

KILL THE ZOMBIE

backbiting is contagious

The aroma of biryani Abida had cooked overpowered the smell of room freshener. She inspects her flat one last time before she dresses up in one of her fine clothes. It was a special day. Her college friend was going to meet her for the first time since Abida had got married. Well, she hardly had any visitors she knew.  She wanted to impress her friend. “I hope Sadaf is not taken a back by the building’s location”, she thought.

As she waited she heard the phone ring. “Sadaf should be close by. May be she forgot the flat number.” Much to her disappointment, it wasn’t Sadaf. She hears nagging Rashma crying aloud, “Hallo Abida. You won’t believe what happened?” Abida knew now Rashma would treat her like a dump yard of emotions and there is nothing much she could do to console her. She replies politely, “Hi Rashma. Oh dear, no matter what it is don’t take it to your heart. I am sure things would turn around for better.” Amidst sob’s Rashma utters, “As usual my husband forgot all about me. He had…” Just then she heard a bell. Delighted to find a reason to escape Abida quickly interrupts, “I was expecting my friend. I have to attend her. I feel sad to leave you in your distress. I am sure your hubby will cheer you up. Bye” She cuts the call and rushes to the door.

The friends were glad to meet one another. Abida felt as though she was meeting her long lost sister! Abida did her best to make her friend feel like a queen! Sadaf and Abida spoke for hours about their days together on college. It was time for lunch. Sadaf was impressed by Abida’s culinary skills. “Abida, you could be a chef at a five star hotel. I just can’t have enough of the biriyani you cooked. You should share this recipe with me.” Abida gladly agrees. Sadaf wonders, “Abida I knew you couldn’t make tea and was happy to dress in casualwear. Now you have changed a lot. You look prettier in our silk robes and jewels. And the food you cook is divine. Your husband is a lucky man. Tell me the secret behind this transformation. Is it love?” Abida blushes and then replies honestly, “OH dear! Love is just a small part. Almost every weekend I have guests visiting us. We can’t afford to dine them out every week end. Inevitably I learnt to be a better host. So far I was only catering my hubby’s friends and family. You are the first person whom I had been acquainted with to come to my home. So, I was really eager to make this day special.”

The conversation seemed to change gloomy. Sadaf was too concerned about Abia’s tiring life. “It should have been tough catering to so many guests. A young couple needs to go out and have fun more often. You were pampered like no other girl at your parents’ home. I am sure your hubby should be helping you with the chores.” Abida opens her heart out, “The only help he does is to invite.” Sadaf gasps, “Oh my God! You should hate being treated as a servant.” Abida argues, “It’s not all that bad. You know I enjoy having company. I love having guests around. Well, until…” Abida wishes she hadn’t uttered more. It was too late. She recollected a heart breaking incident which occurred about a month ago. Sadaf urged her to continue, “Until what? Tell me. You would feel better.” Abida could not hold herself back, “well, one of hubby’s cousins had stayed over during holidays. We planned to go on a picnic next day. I had worked hard and took best care of the guest. Then I also cooked and packed for the picnic. I was last to sleep and first to wake up. I was very tired and fell asleep in the car. I could partly hear everything they spoke. My hubby called me lazy. He said I sleep all day. I hoped his cousin would defend me. Instead, he was feeling pity for my hubby. Would he do the same if his BIL said this about his sis. I came back and confronted my hubby? He was unapologetic.” With this Abida broke into tears. Sadaf handed her a tissue. She said, “That should have hurt a bit.” Abida snaps, “A bit? It felt as though he was tearing my clothes and was exposing me. Aren’t husband and wife meant to be like clothes to one another? Shouldn’t they protect, complement and save one another from evil. Now, I wonder what else had he been telling about me to his relatives. I strain so much to please him and what to do I get in return?”

They are your garments and Ye are their garments
Quran 2:187 Surah Al baqra 187

Sadaf starts a new chapter, “You had earlier told your hubby is very loving. Someone should have pushed him to turn like this. Is she your MIL?” “Oh no, she is such a darling. There are few differences in way we see things. That’s normal. Let’s speak about something else.” Sadaf agreed. She focused on Abida’s home. “Your house is well kept but it is not in prime location. What kind of neighbours do you have? The smell of fish on the way to your flat was hard to bear.”  Abida’s turns defensive again, “Well my hubby is saving to buy a better car. Once, he saves enough we will shift to a better location. Hey! That same neighbor also taught me to make biriyani. It’s not her fault that our kitchens face corridor.” Sadaf pities her, “It’s sad to see you adjust so much. How selfish of your hubby to leave you here so that he may enjoy luxuries. You should have been stern. If he doesn’t care for his newly wed wife, do you think he’ll care for you few years from now? Your parent always kept your preferences above theirs. It should be tough for you to live like this.” One thing led to other Abida was spilling beans out. When Sadaf left, she felt depressed and somehow oppressed. Lively home seemed devastated. Nothing seems right. She wonders why she ever married. The couple fought by evening and her young hubby went alone to meet his friends! She thought, “Now he’ll go and blabber everything to his friends.”

Things looked better again. Her hubby and she missed each other’s pleasant company. In no time, the conflict was pushed aside. She wonders why she ever fought with such a loving husband. A week later she receives call from her mom. Her mom was very upset. On questioning she reveals, “Does Ahmed take good care of you dear?” “He is very good to me.” “I know everything dear. You stay in a crappy place to save money. You work hard to please his guests and end up being called lazy. Your MIL and you have differences. And …” Abida is stunned to hear all this. She had only spoken to her friend about these things and they were not exactly said like this. She quickly comforts her mom, Continue reading KILL THE ZOMBIE

A Perfect husband

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ

Gentlemen, have you wondered, “what a woman desires?!” Ladies, let’s discuss, “How should a perfect husband be?” What kind of person would you love to marry? For those of us who are married, what were/are your expectations from your life partner? Is he a romantic hero who would sweep you off the floor with his charm? Or, are you expecting him to shower love on you with roses and chocolates! I am sure every woman has her definition of Prince Charming/ Superman. Does anyone really fit in?

Having seen marriage of a near and dear ones break, I had lost trust in marriage. When it was my turn to get married, I was scared. I wondered, “How should a perfect husband be?” The romantic hero seen in movies appeared to be an immodest flirt. I was sure such would continue to woo other women too. I was looking for a real human not a superman. A husband should cater to physical, emotional and financial needs of a wife. Unfortunately, many have failed in one or all these aspects. Men mostly seem incapable of expressing love. Do you know your partner’s likes and dislikes? Can you recognize your spouse’s developing anger? How many activities do you do together? Thankfully, I learnt about a person who reassured my faith in marriage.

My search led me to take interest in life of a modest man. His wife didn’t have to search for a reason/activity to get his attention. At home he readily made himself available for her. He would help her with the household chores! Love needs to grow in a marriage. Occasional showering of gifts/flowers cannot replace the interaction required to nurture plant of love. Unlike most men he listened attentively to his wife. What else could be better to prove a man’s love than caring for every word his wife utters. He could make out his wife’s slightest expression of anger! When she is upset, he consoled her. He saw to it that, no one hurt his wife, including her family even if it was in his favor! He didn’t ignore his wife’s whims and fancies. In short, he used every chance to shower her with affection. He was not amidst those who would forget their wife at the time of honor. He saw to it she had same privileges as him. No person is devoid of human flaws. He didn’t make big deal of his wife’s flaw and rectified it with love!!!  A wife hopes her spouse cares for her parents and extended family the way she does. Our hero respected and cared for his wife’s relatives even after her death! Do you think a busy successful person cannot be like that? Does this make him appear as someone unsuccessful in life? Contrary to that, he is the most successful person ever. This humble king even sought his wife’s advice in important matters. He was none other our beloved Prophet (ﷺ).  This unlettered Prophet (ﷺ)  was wise enough to state.

Prophet was best towards his wives

With an open mind let us see how exactly he treated his wives. Gentlemen here are some tips to increase sweetness in a married life. 😉 Our Prophet (ﷺ) was indeed a perfect HUSBAND!!

humble

Help your wife with chores.

Most of us struggle to find quality time with our husband. Either spouses are too busy or emotionally void. Helping one another in everyday activities could keep love fresh and strong.

ultimate listener

Once, Aisha (RA) narrated a story of 11 women. It is a lengthy hadith where in each women relates about her husband. Prophet (ﷺ)   listened to her without showing any signs of fatigue or boredom. He didn’t interrupt her and finally related “I am to you as Abu Zar was to his wife.” [Shahi Al Bukhari]

I have not included the entire hadith here due to its length. Indeed one who reads this hadith could make out how attentive was the Prophet (ﷺ)   to his wife! J

During Hudaibiya treaty, Shabas were disappointed that they can’t perform umrah that year. None proceeded to sacrifice. Umm salamah (r.a)  said, “O the Prophet (ﷺ) of Allah! Do you want your order to be carried out? Go out and don’t say a word to anybody till you have slaughtered your sacrifice and call your barber to shave your head.” The Prophet (ﷺ) followed her advice. When the sahabas saw what their Rasool (ﷺ) had done, they copied him with zeal. [Shahih al Bukhari]

Our Prophet (ﷺ) didn’t feel inhibited to follow a wise advice of a woman.

Scintillating rectifier

jealous wife

There is no mention of him being angry at Ayesha RA. He realized her love for him had made her jealous. How wisely he handled the situation?!

benevolent

be good to wife's relatives

Subhan Allah, his () love and respect for his wife Khadija (May Allah be pleased with her) extended even after her death. He continued to maintain ties with her family and friends.

Anger recognizer

console your angry wife

Mother of believers Ayesha (RA) hardly did anything to express her anger. Just one different word was enough for our dear Prophet (ﷺ) to recognize her anger. He didn’t ignore it, but mentioned this to his beloved wife. Subhan Allah

never abused

be kind to your wife.

Our brave prophet (ﷺ), who commanded armies, was always kind to his wives and those who served him!

Desirable

Darling wife.

With such open verbal expression of love, a wife would feel happy, secure and contended.


Handsome is what Handsome does. Now, could there be any one more handsome than our prophet? Are you amazed at prophet’s treatment towards his wives? I have just mentioned few of my favorite hadiths. He was much more pleasing. He entertained and played with them too. So, what kind of partner would you like? How about following our Prophet’s (ﷺ)  advice?

Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) from the Prophet (ﷺ)  who said: “A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Seek the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

With this hadith in mind, I had prayed for a religious man. Our choice for a spouse has a great impact on our future and our children’s future!  Only a man with Taqwa (God consciousness) can try his best to cater physical, emotional and financial needs of his wife and children. My hubby may not be the best man ever, but, Alhamdulillah he is the best man I know. One of the things I love about him is, the way he cares for our children. He doesn’t fuss when it comes to helping me with kids. This gives me extra time to learn, memorize and blog.

Ladies, pay heed. No one is perfect. There are times when I am angry /disappointed with my hubby. That’s when I remember:

Ungrateful wife

Yes, that’s scary. Indeed my husband’s merits outweigh his shortcomings. Life is too precious to be wasted on arguments for trivial things. When upset I recollect some of the lovely things he did for me. This melts my anger away. (MostlyJ) Then, I think of my flaws. Honestly, he rarely complains about them. This really turns my anger into appreciation for him.

Remember ladies, no one can be a better husband than our Prophet Muhammed (ﷺ). Blessed is a lady, whose husband aspires to be like Prophet (ﷺ) was to his wife.  Support him when he practices any sunnah (prophetic mode of life). With time, he would make Prophet (ﷺ) his role model. This would be a huge blessing for a wife.

For those of us who are married we can still strengthen bonds of love by ignoring the past. Let us help one another grow spiritual. May our bonding with Allah help us establish a place in heaven together.

Quran [at-Toor 52:21] [ar-Ra ‘d 13:23] [az-Zukhruf 43:70].

This is where our concern should be. Are you the one who wakes your spouse for fajr? Do you request your spouse to accompany you to a movie or an Islamic class? Do you relax with music or qirat?

Aim for the true eternal love.

Prepublished in Muslimahbloggers

For the list of other articles please click here

Balloons!

image
Balloons. Ready to burst.

Balloons!
Bundle of air, just enough to make one smile.
Good enough to keep mom free for a while.
Be prepared for tears to come..
For all it takes is a single prick.

We like balloons, have inflated ourselves with dreams, pride, ego and all things vain.
We are no better than those who have perished.
Let’s take heed before the final prick.
Let’s be prepared to face what we have done.

Color of islam

Quran 2:138
Quran 2:138
Color of Islam

Don’t blend in. During cold treatment, let the warm color of islam stand out. Let it melt the hostility away.
Seek Islamic knowledge; learn and practice it – to see the beauty of His color.